Karin's Newsletter # 5
December 2008/July 2009
Dear fellow travelers;
This newsletter is for those people I met along the way who are interested in the unfolding of my path as a self-proclaimed Lightworker for America.
Better late than never. My plan was to send out this newsletter around Christmas, however, only now, in July of 2009, was I able to finish it.
Being a Lightworker means living ahead of the times. Three and a half years ago I had voluntarily left my old world and stepped empty-handed into the unknown. I had nothing to hold onto except my sense of mission. I lived authentic from the moment I stepped into the reality of the 3D World out there.
What I experienced could be what is in store for many people in the near future, for we all will be leaving the old behind. Many may find themselves involuntarily without shelter, without money and security, without a car, and even without friends.
With this newsletter I want to sum up and share my life experience throughout the year 2008 and into the first half of 2009.
Where to start? I am now in Chico, California.
Had I chosen to stay in Garberville I would by now be in a much better situation financially. I would have had another successful gardening season which would ensure much more than my livelihood. I would by now have accomplished to get dental work done for several thousand dollars which I already had planned and calculated with the dentist. Plus I would have bought a Segway Human Transporter which has been my dream ever since I saw its unraveling on TV. I would not only be debt-free but would also by now have my two ebooks self-published. But --- I would be pulled into a power game with the landlady in which I would have to continue to play the role of the Have-not and the victim under her rulership as a Have. I would be pulled back into the old world which means I would not be able to live authentic. The year before I had already evoked situations that brought out less than the best in her.
When I realized how much of my time and energy I would have to invest only to make a business woman in Garberville richer, I couldn't play the game anymore of being exploited as an economic slave. I am on a mission as a Lightworker and I follow my supreme inner guidance only, not the orders of a disconnected fellow human anymore. I had saved enough money and could afford to move. So I challenged the landlady by writing a letter that I feel mistreated as a tenant. In return she posted the next day the eviction notice on my door.
I already had realized that Garberville had become a dead place for me. As I had described in my former newsletters I was guided to go to Garberville as an auspicious place for the writing of my second book, "Potty Training for Indigo Children" — Cannabis/Marijuana/Hemp for Medicine, Enlightenment, and Abundant Resources for the 21st Century.
It took me one year to write this book and thus to fulfill this spiritual assignment. Being a shamanic Lightworker I will further dedicate my time and effort in support of the renaissance of Cannabis/Marijuana/Hemp as one of Earth's sacred plants whose time has now come. I had introduced myself as a Cannabis advocate and offered my book contribution to the many organizations in the area. It turned out, no doors opened for me, for they have not even a category yet to put me in.
Although I loved living in the Redwood trees area, I found that the community was stewing in their own juices. On fridays I sometimes went to the clock tower where the local movers and shakers met to protest the war in Iraq. Some of them were compulsive teachers who cannot stop talking and getting out of their rut. They haven't come to realize yet that pushing against the system feeds and perpetuates the system. However, they set the tone and run the radio shows at the local radio station that is the heart of the community.
During my two years in Garberville I met many wonderful American people and I cherish precious memories, yet I couldn't find any local Lightworkers for mutual mission support.
I think my main lesson in Garberville was to learn first hand about the interaction between the Haves and Have-nots in real-life America. I had come to this country in 1991 and immediately started together with my husband Jim an entrepreneur martial arts business. We bought a home on 2.5 acres in the San Diego back country and lived a middle class life as self-employed small business owners. Being a foreign immigrant I got to know my new country mostly from watching television.
When I left my husband in December 2005 I suddenly was a Have-not wherever I went. Being a Have-not was now my primary identity in the 3D world. I learned that the two categories of Haves and Have-nots are always in the forefront of everyday life, namely from the first to the last day of the month. Being a Tenant-Have not my life is determined by the pressure to get the rent on the first of the month to the Landlord/the Have. And yet at age 60 this had become my number one goal in life: to be able to rent a place to live on my own. The pressure as a tenant to make $500 for my tiny studio every month was huge for me, and I worried that I may not be able to make the money and end up homeless.
My time in Garberville was important. I lived openly as a Lightworker. Whenever I promote myself I do so with the awareness that I am an awakener. Many of the locals who read my articles and blog posts heard for the first time those trigger words of remembering such as 'Lightworker' and 'Indigo Children.
And I must say I had a lot of fun playing "the ladybug lady" in town by giving away hundreds of small glass ladybugs to people as tokens of good luck. I wrote the story down as a chapter for my next book.
When I couldn't find a new rental place in the Garberville area I decided to move further away into a larger city with more possibilities for me. So I searched the Internet for a new place to settle.
I chose Chico because of its bicycle-friendliness, its overall pleasant Californian climate, its medium-size as a city of 71,000; and I also love the fact that it is a university city with 27,000 additional young people.
So I rented over the Internet an apartment in Chico and organized my U-haul moving for which I had to hire a driver.
My start in Chico was tough. It was scary to move to a city and not knowing anybody. On my second day in Chico, June 13, 08, I hurt my back from lifting the heavy moving stuff and was in great pain for a week. On the seventh day somebody offered to take me to the emergency hospital in nearby Paradise. When I said that I don't have health insurance the man said they are a Christian non-profit hospital and will treat me for free. So I gratefully accepted his offer. They x-rayed my back and gave me two painkiller injections.
Four weeks later I received a bill from the hospital and the doctor for over $3,700. I was shocked. It was absurd. I lived off $5 a day to stretch my savings to the max. I had no job and no check coming in. So I wrote a letter to the hospital explaining that I felt tricked by the hospital, for I would never have agreed to a $3,700 one-time pain treatment that would enslave me for years to come to pay off their bill and pull me into their system. It would lead me away from why I came to Chico. So I asked to waive these bills and delete my account. They did not respond, instead kept re-sending their bills. I now received threat letters from the hospital's and doctor's collection agencies.
Of course I'm fully aware that I am the creator of my own reality and that I am always getting what I am vibrating. The manifestations in my life show me that I still have victimhood residue vibrating in my energy field.
In retrospect I view my emergency room experience as an excursion into the health care system of the Old World of 3D. I had never been to a hospital in America. What a shocking and eye-opening experience! Again, the game between the Haves and Have-nots, played out within the structure of the healthcare system. What a tremendous lack of Love in this commercialized business of helping brothers and sisters! I am astounded how our neediness for each other's money is taking on ever more grotesque forms. This hospital is run by self-serving business executives under the guise of a Christian non-profit organization. They certainly don't like to hear Jesus' teaching of "Physician heal yourself".
I still get easily disconnected when going out there in the harsh world of 3D. While having to play the role of a "Have-not Victim" it is not easy for me to see my fellow humans as the sons and daughters of God — that I know them to be — playing human games on Earth. As Abraham, the teacher of Law of Attraction says, "You cannot look at something of a disconnected nature and stay connected. What you look at is what you include in your vibration and vibrate as it." I am now practicing to live the Abraham teachings in my daily life and I view myself as a "work in progress".
In February of 2008 I had finally started to learn EFT — Emotional Freedom Techniques (emofree.com). It is a self-healing method of tapping certain meridian spots on the body while speaking affirmation phrases. Over the last ten years — whenever I came across EFT-information on the Internet — I told myself that sooner or later I will learn this tool of self-empowerment.
I started with what founder Gary Craig calls the "personal peace procedure" in which one has to list all traumatic events throughout ones life, for we live our lives according to our accumulated beliefs; he calls them "the writings on our walls". Gary Craig says with EFT it is possible to completely re-engineer one's emotional profile by discharging and dissolving the traumatic events in ones life one by one. Many of our old beliefs, gained earlier from traumatic events in our life, don't serve us anymore. The opposite is true, they are self-sabotaging our success in our present life. Of course the process can take a while, if one like me has been banging around for a number of decades. After all, I know I needed to experience one more lifetime of victimhood consciousness — in order to overcome it as a deliberate conscious creator.
When I hurt my back from lifting the heavy moving boxes, I tapped persistently for several months on the topic of my back pain until my back was fully realigned. Had I known an EFT practitioner in Chico I would not have ended up in the emergency room. Anyway.
EFT Tapping has already grown into a global movement, a way of life. It is about self- empowerment and empowering others. I am very passionate about EFT and I keep asking myself, "What would I do without it?".
In July of 2008 my mother in Germany died of cancer, at age 87. Having a parent die is a major event in everybody's life. During my mom's six-months dying process I did a lot of EFT Tapping on myself and for my dying mother, asking her Higher Self for an easy transition. During this time I also got closer to my siblings in Germany over the phone and Internet. To my great surprise I inherited some money which enabled me to live off for almost four months.
By November, after six months in Chico, the money from my mother was gone; it all went to the landlord. A friend from the Chico Women's Club bought me a woman's bicycle which enabled me to take on a job for a few weeks during harvest time. But no further job opportunities showed up. I had hoped to make some money with private German tutoring, however, nothing happened. I was still in the mode of struggling for survival; it was frightening having to come up with $625 for shelter every 30 days.
A women's club friend took me to the welfare office to get the applications for food stamps. It is a loan program which has to be paid back or worked off. I received $176 a month food stamp money, but did not qualify for other help. That was all I got for the month, no rent assistance or cash help. The welfare office sent me to the Social Security Administration to apply for disability benefits.
Applying for welfare and SSI was very difficult for me. I knew that I would put myself into a tug of war, that is, in the midst of massive contradictions. For years people had been telling me to get on social security benefits. But I thought being the deliberate creator of my own reality I should be able to manifest enough money for a basic living while still having enough energy and time to do my life's mission. The freedom of existing outside of society and especially outside the healthcare system was more important to me. So I knew that becoming a social security recipient would mean to live with one foot in each, the old and the new world.
I knew I would be acting out that contradiction within my physical body and it would cause me to become ever more bipolar. For months I got sucked under and thrown off balance and lost in survivor energies. I felt deeply depressed and miserable and incapable of doing anything, yet I kept trying to lift me out with EFT Tapping.
Of course I did not try to convey to the SSI socialworkers or the doctor who evaluated my mental state that I am fully aware that I am a spiritual being living in a physical body. I could not write in the application forms what I really felt. I could not express why I don't function in the old world anymore and that I am incapable to work a job out there. Only for short periods of time can I handle the noise level, the smells, the over- stimulations, and the overall stress level of people. Life out there is too harsh and overwhelming. I am now living without any protective mechanisms and as soon as I start feeling vulnerable I have to go back into my private space to realign my energies and regain my balance.
Living a solitary lifestyle is the only way for me to maintain my connection to my Higher Self. I have to live a certain way of detaching and decoupling from the old 3D-world while giving my entire focus to the emerging new world. I do much of my work on my pillow at home in my nucleus. At this time my main job as a deliberate creator is to dwell in my center and cultivate the basking state, the being state. While learning to vibrate on an ever higher level of conscious awareness my range of perception keeps broadening and my sensitivity is ever increasing. In other words, my joy is now greater and so is my pain.
Being a Lightworker I am navigating in uncharted waters. We are like the coal miners' canaries. We learned to take the full brunt of these new cosmic energies that are flooding planet Earth. We had to learn to anchor these new energies in our bodies. In doing so we have been paving the way for those who come after us. We already gained awareness that we are so much more than our physical bodies. We are multidimensional beings. When we go to sleep at night millions of us go to the "night shift" as Gridworkers, weaving the crystalline light grid for the New Planet Earth.
Once a person lives in awareness of who they are, one cannot participate in the Old World game anymore. You stand outside as a watcher, like the child in the tale that tells the crowd that the emperor wears no clothes. The game is over, you cannot move back and pretend to be a player again.
I had no idea that living as a Lightworker would be so difficult. To shift dimensions from living in the dense three dimensional world to shifting consciousness higher into the frequency range of the 5th dimension is hard on the physical body. To cope with this wide range of frequencies can cause many emotional and physical problems; many of those are like menopause symptoms. As Lightworkers we call them 'Ascension Symptoms'.
In going back to my newsletter topics: The highlight of the year was my naturalization event in San Francisco, on May 6th 2008. The process took over a year and cost me more than $1,000. I plan to write an essay about why I wanted to become a US citizen. I will lay out my mapmaker and wayshower ideas as a citizen of the New America of the New Planet Earth. I can't wait delving into this subject for it will be a chapter for my third book, "Washing My Potatoes". It will take at least three months to write.
I joined the Chico Women's Club and enjoyed being a volunteer server at their annual christmas event where I got to see the Bidwell Mansion from the inside. I joined the Chico Timebanking Community as the 46th member. I also enrolled in ChicoFreeCycle which is a yahoo email group of 3000 members. I connected with the Chico members of the national medical marijuana organization, "Americans for Safe Access", and also with the Chico Cannabis Club. I joined the Center for Spiritual Enrichment/Religious Science and went regularly to their uplifting Sunday services. I became a volunteer worker at the Salvation Army cooking team. Wherever I went I introduced myself as a Lightworker. I responded to newspaper articles and put ads on Craigslist in looking for fellow Lightworkers. Yet I still had no means of making a living.
Once I got on SSI, in February 2009, everything changed. I had also applied for German early retirement benefits and was approved. The feeling of relief was indescribable. I dropped my fear of existence.
Now that I was able to improve my livelihood I looked for a better and quieter rental place with gardening opportunity. Again I had to enter the game of the Haves and Have nots. I got rejected as a potential tenant about a dozen times for being on SSI and for being a medical marijuana user. But then I met a young landlord who said he is a medical marijuana user himself and therefore he picked me as the tenant for his remodeled small house in the back. (smile)
I am happy to be here. Now that I've learned about life on food stamps, $5.60 a day, I want to move up to castles from buttons (a phrase borrowed from Abraham). I have to keep expanding my being, otherwise I will be pulled down in the old grids that are falling down. To me it is very important to stay away from what is falling, or I will be pulled downwards.
In my opinion we cannot bail out the Old World. From a broader viewpoint we as the human family are in the higher vibrating energies now, and thus, there is no more energy to sustain and fuel the old. There is nothing left for it to hold onto. The situations of breakdown will force people to let go of old beliefs that no longer serve them and open up to new ways of viewing and living life. I think no matter what governments are in power, human interactions will globally come down to two groups, "the Haves and the Have-nots". Not just in this country, but in every country, town, community, and family, life will be about how the Haves and Have-nots interact with each other. The Haves and Have nots will come to realize that we are playing the modern-day version of slave masters and slaves. The Haves will come to acknowledge that they are exploiting their brothers and sisters for their own self-gain. The Have-nots will have to make the shift from victim consciousness to creator consciousness and take responsibility for self. Mass consciousness must now shift the old paradigm of self-gain at the expense of others to a more balanced system of care for the rights and needs of fellow humans. There will be opportunities ahead for awakening and opening our hearts like never before. Once awake, human beings become conscious human creators who act from the heart and practice the core values of cooperation, fairness and care for each other and the whole.
It is now the time for preparedness. People are now beginning to support each other by forming small communities of choice. As people loose their jobs or become too poor to buy things, neighbors will begin helping each other and real communities will emerge as a result. Groups of like-minded people will leave the old behind and start creating new connections in a new grid of reality. Self-empowerment and empowering others are the keywords for the future.
Twenty five years ago when I started my path of self-mastery a medium told me that my life's mission is to serve as "a woman of the last hour". My entire life has been preparation for what is ahead. I'm now ready to establish my foundation as a Lightworker and to build my network. I am presently revamping my two books, to get them ready for self-publishing. For this year I also want to fulfill my long-term goal of re-creating my website on my own. My website is my storefront and I want to maintain it myself. I also would like to complete my third book "Washing My Potatoes" which is more than half done.
My next spiritual assignment is the foresight project "Dome Village Katrina", a self-sufficient, 6-dome model community, meant to snowball in rural areas. I started laying it out five years ago. For this apprenticeship project I want to attract four young people from my tribe of origin, known as the "Promethean Spirit". When the time is ready I will be ready. Until then my main work is to sustain and strengthen my inner connection. Being still is vitally important to me. There is nothing more to do and nowhere more to go but within. I already feel like being home.
I wish you all good luck for the times ahead! These are the end times we are living in, meaning the end of an old cycle and the simultaneous beginning of a new cycle. It is up to each of us to experience these years ahead as the worst of times or the best of times. My secret for succeeding in making a new beginning has been "to make the best out of every day".
So please may you remember to make the best out of every day! (smile)
There is Great Love Here for You! (= Abraham greeting phrase)
Light & Love,
Karin Lacy, Lightworker